What should I do? Please help me!?

I have no other way to vent out my feelings. Im a 20 year old extra-pounds woman. I wont say I look bad, Infact I know I look good but my overweight problem does hamper my confidence at times. I will start from the scratch. Theres this guy i know since the last two years. He's my clmate at the engineering college where I study. We became friends on the first day of the college. Gradually we became very good friends. We started sharing stuff and all that. I was in a long distance relationship at that time with I guy whom I had never met. Here, I would only clarify my feelings by telling you that my Dad had gone that very year and that I was going through a hard time. So, emotionally I really needed him. My friend, this guy whose my clmate was always there, helping me out with everything and letting me cope. Then one fine day, this guy jokes about loving me. I was surprised. I did like him but I hadnt thought he'd like me too. Then again one day, he kissed me. Ofcourse it was a two sided effort and I felt very guilty. I confessed this to my boyfriend who broke up with me because of this friend of mine. At that moment I didnt want any relationship from my friend. So we were physically involved without any commitment. Gradually, I realised that I loved him. So much that even a day without him seemed to be hell. Again, my mom had cancer and she ped away in February this year. He was very supportive and all. But now it has turned into something else. I realise he does not want the physical stuff but doesnt even refuse to do it. I wanna clarify that I HAVE NOT HAD with him, only the other stuff. Now he doesnt care about what I want in the make-out session and makes me do what he wants. He doesnt care anymore and Ive had like 1001 fights with him. Now, it doesnt matter to him. I clearly see that he's nomore interested in listening to what Im blabbering about or he doesnt wanna come and sit with me or talk at all. I know Im letting myself being used but Im alone, weak and suicidal. I miss mom and cannot cope up with the 100-1000 things that have come upon me. Should I just kill myself and go to my parents because in this world, I seem to be alone